Reframing The Role of Black Fatherhood
A powerful new film from Dads Evoking Change and Represent Collaborative raises awareness about the challenges Black and brown fathers face navigating the family court system—and the strength and dedication they show fighting them for the sake of their kids.
Click on the image ABOVE to play the film.
“Going into court I would be shaking and sweating, and leaving court I would be crying. Because it seemed like there was a room full people looking at me and judging me—not off the actual things I had done in my son's life or who I had been as a father, but what their thought of me was,” remembers Kareem Chadley, of the long and demoralizing years he spent in family court, fighting to keep his son in his life and in his home. “I felt very small when I would walk into those courtrooms.”
“It becomes disheartening because it's like, man, I'm up here just trying to fight for things to be equal….She's my daughter, and I just want to make sure that I'm cemented in her life,” says Lionel Berry Preston, who felt like he was swimming upstream trying to secure equal time with his daughter, Le'ani, now 5.
According to a recent study by the Institute for Research on Poverty, most low-income fathers of color navigate the civil court system without any legal representation. This phenomenon is referred to as the “justice gap” — when low-income litigants don’t have access to the same level of representation as Americans with more financial means. Unsurprisingly, the group of low-income Americans most affected by the “justice gap” is disproportionately composed of people of color.
The stakes are made exponentially higher when you factor in the bias of judges, lawyers, and even administrators working in the court system. The prevailing stereotype of the “deadbeat dad” can make dedicated fathers who are involved, caring and advocating for more time with their children feel invisible, and can lead to biased treatment in the courtroom.
Joleena Louis, a family lawyer in New York City knows this all too well. She explains that while “technically the law shows no bias against fathers, the individual bias of judges, referees, attorneys, and litigants play a part in skewing most custody cases in favor of the mother. In my experience, this has been especially true if the father is a person of color.”
Carlos Rosario went to court when his son was two years old and battled the family court system for ten years in order to keep his son with him. “When I walked in the courtroom I could feel them looking down on me. It’s a lonely feeling, that no one is out to help you.”
Louis explains that Black and brown fathers often walk into court with a preconceived narrative already attached to them, and getting people to view them accurately is an uphill battle. “There is the presumption that Black fathers are less involved, so attorneys often don’t even consider the history of the father’s involvement. I have had discussions with opposing counsel who were shocked to learn that my client took the kids to school every day, or did homework, or handled the day-to-day care of the children before the parents’ relationship ended.”
Experiencing this type of discrimination—and the legal results of it—changed Kareem Chadley forever. “I had to prove my worth in order to see or be involved physically (with my son) outside of just paying child support. And that was a soul crushing experience. It was very demeaning. I felt very marginalized. I felt very small when I would walk into those courtrooms.” Kareem had been the primary caregiver for his son Damani, when his ex-wife took him to court to try and take full custody. After years of demoralizing hearings, the court determined that Damani should spend more time with his mother, despite Kareem’s concerns. A couple of months after he went back to live with her, tragedy struck. Damani snuck out of the house one night and ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time, and he was murdered.
“Obviously, that changed the whole trajectory of my life,” says Kareem, who founded Dads Evoking Change, a nonprofit organization that supports under-resourced fathers as they navigate child custody and child support processes in family court. “Our vision is a transformed family court system that is free of bias and discrimination against low-income fathers and fathers of color who want to positively parent their children. I pour all my energy that I poured into my son into this organization, in hopes that no other fathers will have to be excluded from helping raise their kids.”
Although Louis understands the challenges deeply, she hopes fathers aren’t deterred from advocating for time with their kids. “It’s important to encourage Black fathers to fight – even if they don’t think they will win – so that they can show their children and society that they did everything in their power to remain an equal parent, despite having the cards stacked against them from the start.”
Carlos wishes an organization like Dads Evoking Change was around while he was fighting for his son. There were moments he felt so discouraged, so helpless, he thought of giving up. But he knew in his heart that surrender was never an option.
“I wanted to see my son grow. And if I didn't fight for him, he wouldn't be by my side. I wouldn't have that,” says Carlos, who was eventually awarded full custody of his son, also named Carlos, now 15 years old. The two are incredibly close, and each calls the other his hero. “We got this saying my father told me: Siga adelante. Keep going. Keep moving forward. And that's what my son teaches me without knowing, just to keep on trucking.”
